Hot Button Issues

So this Blog post is going to move away from the 'my experiences' side of things and tackle one of the most divisive subjects in comedy. The subject of what is and isn't okay to joke about. There has probably been millions of other articles and posts on this, but this is my take, as an amateur, within a vocal and diverse local comedy community. Everything from here on in is simply my opinion, to be taken with a grain of salt.

If you're stuck for time, here's the short answer inside one paragraph, nothing is sacred. I believe if you're doing comedy at a venue with adults that have willingly come to watch and listen, you have the freedom and right to use any subject matter you wish. With that freedom though, comes a responsibility and a bit of a waiver. If you want to say something in the name of getting a laugh, say it, but from the moment you took the stage and addressed the crowd, then you have accepted that just as you have the right to free speech, your crowd has the right to find you offensive, to think you're an idiot and to downright hate everything you come out with. That's the game, you can discuss genocide if you think that's going to get a laugh, but if you get booed off stage and roundly hated on, never to be booked again, you knew the risk going into it.

From my experience, the most common hot button issues in comedy are; Racism, Homophobia, Sexism and perhaps the one topic that has the most emotion surrounding it, Rape. There are comedians in the Wellington circuit that use some or even all of these topics on a regular basis in the name of comedy, so, the question is, should they? For me, they have every right to try, that's what they are trying to do, joke about these subjects, to elicit laughter from the audience. They have signed their waiver though and often these jokes do not go down well, I personally can not find the subject of rape funny, for me, the idea of rape is such an atrocity that I don't find it in the least bit amusing. I am not offended by it, I don't feel rage and hate swelling up inside me and want that person to get off the stage, I just don't find it funny. Some people though, will. Some people will be disgusted with what they hear, and they have every right to feel that way. Someone who has been personally affected by one of these issues is likely going to find it really difficult to deal with, whether that be rape, sexuality or using a racial slur. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on what someone affected by any of these may feel, hey, I'm a white guy aged 20-50, we have a pretty easy time of it. What I can do though is empathise with anyone who feels offended or belittled by an intended joke.

I look at my role as a comedian as having one objective and one objective only, to make people laugh. It really is that simple. That in mind, I want to make jokes that have the best chance of making everyone laugh. I never consider whether my joke will offend someone, for me, that's an exercise in futility, you're always going to offend someone, so I don't bother thinking about who may or may not be offended, they have the right to feel offended so if they do, so be it. What I do want though is to create a joke that will appeal to as many people as possible, and using my functional brain, I know that if I try and make a joke out of someone being brutally attacked and sexually assaulted, a lot of people are going to sit there looking at me thinking "what the fuck was that..." and what I want is them to be laughing, preferably a lot! So that's out for me, its the same with any topic, Racism, you can get a cheap laugh by playing to some sort of Black\Asian\Hispanic stereotype, but that's all it will be, a cheap laugh, and the people that are offended aren't going to be laughing so why would I bother. I've seen this a couple of times when I have misjudged the divisiveness of a joke.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a current affairs show where they profiled a guy who had lost the use of his arms and legs in an accident, now, immediately there's absolutely nothing funny about this, it's a tragedy. There was one shot they used where he was laying in bed watching TV and there was a voice-over talking about his plight, on the TV though, you could see that he was watching the cricket, and my first thought was "poor guy, cant even change the channel". Its not the greatest gag in the world by any measure, but the point of the joke is who am I poking fun at, certainly not the guy who has to live with a disability that would without question destroy your life. I was making fun of the Blackcaps, a notoriously under performing sports team. When I wrote the joke I had written down -

"So he's laying there in his bed and my heart goes out to him, but I couldn't help noticing, someone had put the TV onto Sky Sports, and he was watching the Black Caps, has he not suffered enough"

In itself, I think that's not that offensive, I'm simply pointing out that watching the NZ cricket team is suffering in itself. There's almost certainly people who aren't going to find that funny for one reason or another but I had hoped when I delivered the joke, that most people would be able to laugh at the badly performing cricketers aspect. When I actually delivered the joke on stage though, I ad-libbed a bit, right at the start and it totally changed the joke. What I actually said was..

"So he's laying there in his bed and my heart goes out to him, but I couldn't help noticing, someone had put the TV onto Sky Sports, and they've put the remote control just out of reach.. well I suppose for him just out of reach is anywhere, ....and he was watching the Black Caps, has he not suffered enough"

I've underlined the bit I ad libbed and its pretty obvious what I've done, without thinking, I've re-structured the joke so that before we even get to laughing at the cricketers, I'm making a joke about his unquestionably tragic situation. The crowd let me know it was poor form and I moved on, having been reminded of the importance of "who are you laughing at".

That's an important thing to consider when making a joke, who are you actually laughing at. Most people agree, generally speaking, its wrong to laugh at someone who didn't choose something bad happening. You're on pretty safe ground if you follow that rule, people who are disabled, of another ethnicity (and the joke is squarely about the race), have had a horrible tragedy befall them etc. It's a scaled approach though, The rich guy who buys a new Jaguar and drives it round to his friends house to really rub it in, only to find that a tree falls on his car when he's inside trying to find the friend to brag to, is kind of funny. He didn't choose this thing happening, but its a judgement call, a bit of common sense. I think that situation is likely to get a giggle if worked into shape. The guy is fine, his car is totalled. That's where using your judgement comes in. I don't want to crucify anyone for having bad judgement, because they may make an error like we all do, learn from it, and be funnier because of it.

Someone in the local comedy scene I have heard talk about offensive topics is Brad Zimmerman. Brad has been doing comedy for years and normally goes down an absolute storm with audiences. Now like everyone, Brad makes the odd joke that is crap, he'll admit that (although I'm guessing now I've said that, he will do the classic comedy response of "no, all my jokes are amazing, fuck you" or something similar). One thing that has stuck with me that he said once was "If someone hates my comedy, then I'm fine with that, they're not my audience". I'm paraphrasing,but that was the jist of it. That's become my new mantra, if someone hates my stuff, they're not my audience. Now who do I want my audience to be, well, anyone really, but here's who I don't want. A bunch of brainless bigot's who laugh at other peoples tragedy. So when I make a joke about drinking my dehumidifier water, and someone thinks "that's shit, talk about women in the kitchen", I couldn't be happier that they hate me, because that is not the sort of audience I want.

The distinction for me is one between 'offensive' and 'is it funny'. They can exist together, something someone finds very offensive can be hilarious to someone else. As a comedian, all you're trying to do is make people laugh, if you have a good sense of what is funny to most people, you're probably going to do well, if you have constant bad judgement, and never adjust, you're probably going to either do badly and eventually give up because no one wants to see you, or you're going to develop a small but loyal group of similar thinking individuals who find the same stuff funny. That's not what I want, but if it works for you, go for it. There's a risk involved when you do comedy, and there's a risk you take when you watch comedy too, the risk you will find something offensive. Both parties have to take that into account.

The last thing I want to discuss briefly is, people are different. It's the most obvious thing but increasingly seems to be forgotten when people mention a difference, not just in comedy. I am talking about people who are offended\outraged as soon as they hear a minority group even mentioned. If you begin a sentence, "There was this gay guy...", or "I walked past this group of Asian students..", there are many people I'm sure who have immediately decided that you are going to say something hateful. They don't care how you finish the sentence unless its in glowing terms. Perhaps a better example of this would be saying "I saw a Chinese guy reverse his car into a lake". Now this situation has some comedy potential, lets assume the bloke is fine, and his car is slowly sinking into the lake as he looks at his NAVMAN GPS system (which for the purposes of a joke, he's rescued) quizzically". Now some people are going to immediately label you a racist because you've mentioned the guy was Chinese. Is it important to the joke? no, not at all, he could be Russian, English or African American and its still a joke about a guy who trusted his GPS and got into a sticky situation. But if the guy really was Chinese, and you've mentioned that fact, you are just telling a story. If someone is offended by the fact you felt the need to explain he was Chinese, fuck them. Again, that's not your audience.

To all the self styled 'offensive comics' out there that may stumble across this article, I have absolutely nothing against you. Some of these types make careers out of it and have their audiences, they've chosen that over years of working on gags and that's their choice, their lives and so long as they are only ever using words, I cant get angry about their material, I can only choose to avoid it if I don't find it funny. Most of the time I don't, So I wont go and watch someone do a set that I am aware is going to involve these sorts of things, again I stress, I'm not going to be offended, I'm just not going to laugh. The beauty of this situation is, neither of us really give a fuck, I don't care they're speaking to a room of people with what I consider to be crap material, and equally, they don't give a shit that I don't like it.

Its been a bit of a rambling post this one but to sum up my feelings, and that's all this is, my feelings, on comedy's hot button issues:

• You're always going to offend someone.
• Over time, you choose and refine your audience.
• Comedy is subjective, just because you don't like it, someone else might.
• You can say whatever you like, but be prepared to take the heat.

Thanks for reading.

The 2012 Raw Comedy Quest Final

Thanks for the great feedback I received after last weeks blog, a particular favourite of mine was "Give it up bro, no one's interested any more"... Ah well, haters gonna hate right?

So after making it through my heat and my semi final I was into the final. At stake was a trip to Auckland to compete in the national competition for the top two acts of the night. I have to say I wasn't really thinking about that but given my progress so far, I thought I was in with half a chance. The final was once again going to be held at the San Fran Bath house.
The acts that were in the final with me were:
Roni Saul, Ben Stokes, Hadley Donaldson, Kent Lambert, Rick Threlfo, Josh Franklin and Holly Gooch.  Out of that lot I had seen everyone except Holly perform and I thought there's no one here that is definitely going through or definitely not.

Go back one week and there was quite a bit of buzz around having made the final, I was racking up the Facebook likes over my progress and accompanying video clip of the semi final, and everyone I knew wanted to wish me luck in the final. It was a good feeling knowing that people were pulling for me. As Ive banged on about before, I only wanted to make it out of my heat and to now be in the final I had exceeded my own expectations so in one way the pressure was totally off.. Of course, in another, more honest way, I felt under more pressure than ever. A few of my friends were planning on coming along to the final, which was good, but weirdly, I felt like I wanted to give them something fresh to enjoy. Looking back on it now, this was crazy, There would be roughly 200 people there, and I wanted to give the 6 or 7 people there to support me, some new, untested material. I had mentioned this plan to a few of my friends in the lead-up and I can honestly say.. not one of them thought it was a good idea. In the cold light of day, I realise now, that it was me being cocky. Thinking hey I'm funny so no matter what I pull out its going to be solid gold! Well it might be, but it might be solid coal too.
I decided I would risk it and can half my set, we had 6 minutes so I tried to retain the funniest 2 minutes from the semi final and went about writing 4 brand new minutes. I tried to subtly try out some of the jokes with unsuspecting workmates,  My opening bit was centred around Doogie Howser MD. That went well.. I got a blank stare. My colleague had never heard of him. I reassured myself he was probably just a fraction too young and that EVERYBODY knew Doogie Howser right? I solidified my new opening during the week leading up to the night and told a few people that I was changing my set. I laughed when people said it was a bad move, I scoffed when other comedians asked if that was such a great idea and I downright ignored the advice of a friend who told me to keep 2 or 3 sure fire hits in the set. You know what they say, Pride comes before a fall.

The night rolled around and I was reasonably calm. I got to the San Fran about 30 minutes prior to the show starting. The place was already pretty busy, tickets had sold out but for a handful so it was going to be a capacity crowd. I couldn't tell you who the judges were, or my order on the night but we were told that Raybon Kan was going to do a few minutes at the end, and that our MC for the night was Jamie Bowen.
Jamie came backstage early on and spoke to us, he was a pretty cool guy, he had a real energy about him and definitely had his mentor hat on. He was cultivating a very particular moustache for his comedy festival show and a lot of the conversation seemed to revolve around his upper lip. He had a special moustache comb and scissor in one that he was excited about and would show off to everyone to make a comment on the 'tash. As the finalists all arrived Jamie and also Jerome Chandrahasen, would go to great lengths to explain the time restrictions to us all over again. We had 6 minutes, finish earlier than 5 and you'd probably not make it through, finish over 7 and you would be disqualified immediately. These rules were repeated over and over again, to the point where I thought it would be funny to ask Jamie sarcastically "I'm confused, how many minutes do I have?". This was met with a deadpan "Six.". First joke of the night had gone down like a cup of cold sick.. good. I know I was on in the second half and I know that Ben Stokes was up first. I thought being up first would be a kiss of death in this competition, only a moderately warm crowd, it would be a tough ask, I thought to myself, "well, that's Ben fucked". We will revisit that prediction later. Roni told me she had a load of friends in to support her in the front rows who had seen me a couple of times before. I was pleased that I had some new stuff to give them. We were minutes away from starting and Josh Franklin was writing stuff down on a blank bit of paper, He said he had nothing really planned for the night.. he was either an exceptionally brilliant comic, supremely confident in his own abilities, or bullshitting me. I think it was a bit of a combination of the two. Some more free waters were delivered backstage, in a big bucket of ice. This was how we rolled now.. free water, just like Movie stars, or anyone with a tap at their house. There was one marked difference to the air backstage this time, and that was Kent Lambert. The other nights Kant had bowled on in, loud, confident, cracking jokes and acting like the MC and he had been best buddies for years. Tonight, there was a very subdued man with a jug of beer who looked like he was on his third pair of trousers, its fair to say the big man was either feeling off colour, or absolutely bricking it. I still don't know which one it was but he wasn't himself, maybe he was just in the zone I thought...

We were underway and Jamie was out there getting laughs, warming up a capacity crowd. You could hear the guy was peeling off hit after hit and it gives you a good feeling knowing that you wont be going out to a wall of silence. We made the usual small talk backstage and Josh spent a good chunk of time pacing back and forth. Ben was up before we knew it and the Final was underway in earnest.
We sat backstage in silence, this is how it was most of the competition, not so much listening to the person performing, but listening to the reaction. Ben was doing okay, nothing brilliant but he was first up, id say he was getting moderate laughter all the way through punctuated by big laughs on occasion. He came off and told us he was extremely glad it was finished, Ben was definitely one of the nicest guys to chat to, totally normal, no wisecracking (not that that's a bad thing) and he was really open about how he felt. Before he went on he was telling us all repeatedly that he was feeling like he wanted to be sick from nerves, he wasn't the only one. Holly Gooch said she had thrown up a couple of times beforehand, I seem to recall that she said it was a food thing but the nerves would not have helped. Somehow she got it together enough to give her performance. We all sat backstage again listening. It was pretty quiet out there, She didn't have a strong set and you would have to think that the fact she was already off colour didn't help. I think Josh was in the first half and we didn't need to be quiet to hear how he went. He got a great reaction, big laughs all the way, another strong performance for Mr Consistent. It still amazes me that he had a grand total of two prior sets to his name. Rick may have gone first half too and he really lifted from his Semi Final, he killed it in a big way. At the half I thought Josh and Rick were both certainties for top 3, I had even earmarked Josh as a potential winner.

I had a chat with Hadley Donaldson backstage, Hadley is a chilled out guy and another person who's great to have a chat with. He said he was happy with the people that had made it to the final, before mentioning that there were no weird competitive vibes. He was right too, but I think rather than people being a great bunch of supportive lads and ladies, everyone was just simply too nervous to focus on anything other than their own set!
Somewhere before I went on, the exulted Raybon Kan came backstage and sat down with a few of us. Raybon was probably the most famous comedian I had met in terms of fame at the height of his popularity, which was a while ago now. I expected him to be hilarious, full of life and genuinely a pretty good bloke. Instead, I found him to be utterly miserable. He was quiet, seemed like he had absolutely no energy and if he could choose anywhere to be at that moment, it would be the polar opposite of backstage with some amateur comedians at the San Fran. I just remember a definite chill coming over the green room when he was there, It was like that movie "The cooler" where William H Macy plays a guy who drags down the luck and mood of all those around him. That might sound harsh coming from an upstart like me but you weren't there.. unless you were.. and if so, you'd agree, it was grim.

Finally I was up. This was it, I knew I needed something special to knock over the likes of Rick and Josh who had killer sets. During Jamie's in between bit before I went on, I was sat directly behind the stage just staring at the floor, I tried to think of the first thing I had to say... FUCK. I had no fucking clue what it was. My mind had gone, luckily I normally carry my entire set painstakingly typed out word for word in my pocket. I unfolded the piece of paper and found it really hard to focus on the words, Who wrote this shit? this is TERRIBLE! I was panicking it was fair to say.. 30 seconds before you take the stage is no time to suddenly have a moment of clarity over how woeful the set you've written is. NO, I tried to reassure myself, it IS GOOD. THEY WILL LOVE IT. Doogie Howser is going to KILL.  I slugged back my free bottled water (wow, water what a tough guy gun-slinger type) and tried to block out my thumping heart and just repeated the first sentence of my set over and over again in my head. It was time.
I knew early on it wasn't going great, there were giggles sure, but a smattering of chuckling isn't going to have anyone raving about you. There was one particular bit of physical comedy I did early on, where (and bare with me, as I describe this howlingly unfunny situation) I walk across the stage doubled over to try to conceal a mock erection. Brilliant, high brow stuff yeah. Well, as I comedy-walked across the stage I was struck with 2 thoughts... 1) what in the FUCK am I doing, and 2) It certainly is quiet in here. I wanted to just stop and say to the crowd "COME ON! MISPLACED ERECTIONS ARE HILARIOUS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!??"
Its fair to say the set started on a low and slowly rose to about a medium when I was doing my settled stuff that had previously gone well. So I walked off stage knowing, and I mean really knowing this time, that I wasn't going to be troubling the good folks at Jet Star with a flight booking. Marat Safin the Russian Tennis player once booked his flights home just before playing a semi final as he was so sure he would lose. That's how I felt now, clear the diary for the week of the national Final because I aint going nowhere. Safin as it turned out won his match, had to cancel those flights, and went onto the final before being crushed by Federer but that's another story.

I walked off in one of those cliché slow motion moments, got the normal pats on the back and went back past the green room to a door that was open, I needed that fresh air badly. I sat in reflective silence outside planning to walk down these fire escape stairs, txt my girlfriend to meet me at the car.. now that was definitely an over reaction but at the time I felt like how could I show my face to that crowd again. If I'm honest, it was just the new stuff that went poorly, the established jokes went fine. Hadley had a chat to me, he was on soon, he seemed relaxed. I got it together in time to hear the unusually quiet Kent deliver his Set. I think there was someone in between us but he got absolutely nothing from the crowd. He delivered his set to an almost silent audience when, the exact same set had been working well for him, I guess that's how it goes sometimes though. He looked a broken man, I knew how he felt. Hadley Donaldson got a very similar if not even worse reaction. The enduring image of that night for me would be sitting in the green room, listening to Hadley belt out the Katy Perry song " Babyyyy I'm a fiiiirrreewoorrkkk" to an utter wall of quiet. He got nothing, and I mean NOTHING back from that crowd. A few of us were sat backstage looking at each other, just mulling over the death that was occurring meters from us. Kent, Hadley and I didn't do well so I dunno.. maybe someone provided an impromptu movie showing of the scene where Bambi gets shot at the interval to bring the mood down.. either that, or we all just sucked. I'm going with the latter.

I'm not 100% sure, but I think Roni closed out the night. She bought the house down, yeah she had a load of friends there screaming for her when she came on, but a table of friends cant create the reaction she got. She stormed it plain and simple and left to another huge reaction, led by, but not just, her table of supporters. Someone has since said to me that she had 40 friends turn up but I think that's bollocks, she killed it and the people I've spoken to in the crowd all said the whole room was loving it. So barring a massive difference of opinion from the judges, Roni was through and I would say it was between Rick and Josh. While the judges totted up the scores (how long does it take to write 'Pants' beside my name I wonder?) The audience was treated to Mr Raybon Kan doing roughly 8 minutes. I say eight, but it felt like 80. The crowd absolutely hated him. On the comedy scale of suckiness I think it goes, in order of best to worst - polite giggles but mostly silence, total silence, silence mixed with heckles, constant heckling, and outright booing. Raybon was getting somewhere between the last two. Because I am a wonderful human being, this made me feel better about my own performance, thinking.. well, it could be worse, and he's a pro! Jamie Bowen and the owner of the san fran were backstage, rigging up a chair and a noose out of some cabling, all us amateurs were gathered to the side of the stage watching this and sharing a quiet chuckle. There was a palpable sense that his set was dragging on and on, and amid this I said kind of loudly "Come on mate, Ive only paid for parking until ten", cue laughter from my fellow competitors. there it was, my best joke of the night, made only to an audience of 7. Good going. Raybon mercifully finished up as Jamie was delivered the results and we were all made to stand in a line on stage like a beauty pageant. Jamie went through the formalities.. high standard, hard to pick just one, we will see all these acts again.. etc. I thought briefly about grabbing the Microphone and doing a comedy Kanye West interruption "yo yo, Jamie I'm gon' let you finish but..".. I was really considering that but in the end good sense held me back. I was quietly telling Josh that he had to have made it as I stood next to him and Jamie prepared to announce the results.

Going through, to the national final were... Ben Stokes! and... Roni Saul!
Cue applause, we all hugged and shook hands and then sort of drifted away.

The results. Well, Roni was odds on, right from the heat she had delivered every time, I cant say I was too surprised but Ben? I hadn't seen either his heat or his Semi, and thought he was gone for all money in the final despite not really seeing it. In the wash up I watched the video of his Final set on Facebook, and I have to say .. he totally deserved to go through.  His set made me genuinely laugh all the way through. So that was it for the Raw 2012 quest. It was hugely fun and to make the final was a great achievement for me. If anyone out there is considering entering, I would fully encourage you to do so, and if you are thinking of going along to watch, definitely do so too. Roni and Ben can not enter next year as they placed in the regional, but the rest of us are free to try our luck again. I am undecided on whether I should or not but one things for sure if I do..

I wont be mentioning Doogie Fucking Howser.

Thanks for reading.

Adam

The Raw Comedy Quest Semi Final

Ok, so, yes its been over 3 months since I updated this blog, and yes, a lot of the initial interest in my ramblings has probably died off long ago, and yeah, I'll probably lose interest yet again but hey... I can only but try!

So my last post I had just made it through the heat and into the semi final. I was pleased with that and as I had said in the build up, my goal was to simply make it out of the heat. I had two weeks to prepare for the semi final and I was reasonably sure that I would do much the same set but I did want to make a few tweaks. I wasn't really certain what the expectation was with a competition, on one hand, maybe you're supposed to do the same set the whole way through, on the other, maybe they want you do do something brand new every time to see if you have more than just 6 good minutes in you. I decided to Email Jerome who was coordinating the competition to ask him what the done thing was. He told me that most people perform the same set so that gave me some confidence I wasnt going to be the only guy there just recycling the same stuff, the judges and audiences would be different each time so I felt that making a couple of minor tweaks was the best option.

The Semi final was going to be at the San Fran Bathhouse, a venue in wellington that was much bigger than the fringe bar and held a variety of gigs, mostly music. Its a pretty cool place and was the venue I had first gone to see comedy at in wellington, about 7 years ago I used to come to the odd raw meat night and saw the likes of Steve Wrigley, Ben Hurley and Cori Gonzalez do some of their earliest stuff. In a bit of an ironic twist, Steve Wrigley was going to be on the 3 person judging panel for the semi final, so I had gone full circle from sitting in the crowd watching him, to the reverse. I thought that was kind of interesting.. even if nobody else did. The San Fran holds around 200 people max I would guess. I had no idea how many to expect in on the night, I thought maybe 50 people would be great. (As it transpired roughly 100-120 people showed up and were a great crowd).

The night drew closer and I had made the small changes I wanted to, I kept reassuring myself that I had achieved my goal of even making it so anything else was a bonus. I knew I would be up against a solid lineup, most of the people who weren't quite up to standard had been knocked out in the heats so everyone from here on in would have something about them. I knew I would be on with the 3 others from my night, Josh Franklin, Kent Lambert and Roni Saul. Id have to say its at this point you start thinking competitively, thinking "am I better than that person?, Did I get a better laugh last time?". The 3 that went through on my heat with me all got great laughs so there was just no separating myself, there was no one I confidently thought I could beat. Its an odd feeling, thinking about comedy in a competitive sense. When you are an audience member you just either like an act or not, you might pick out a favourite at the end of the night or talk about someone doing terribly but you wouldn't sit there and rank 6 or 8 acts against one another, It felt a bit weird to be hoping you did better than the next person, I do comedy because I just want to go out on stage, get laughs and have people enjoy what I did, not to beat anyone else. The other thing with judging comedy is, its so subjective, What you find funny, I may think is awful, What I find hilarious, the entire audience may think is utterly boring. I see comedians all the time now that are totally convinced they have a bit of comedy gold, explaining a joke unable to stop chuckling at how good it is, only to see it fall flatter than a pancake when they deliver it on stage. Now sometimes, the bit may just be bad, not funny, ... but other times, they will tell the same joke, in the same style, and get a huge laugh from it. Subjective. When you're faced with being judged, all you can do is .. exactly what you'd do if you weren't, go out and try make the audience laugh.

I stuck to my pre gig ritual and met James roughly 30 minutes before I had to be at the venue, we had a beer each and chatted away about everything BUT comedy. Exactly what I wanted, to take my mind of it. Eventually though the clock ticked down and I had to head off. Most of the time I tell people I don't really get nervous, what I mean by that is, I don't get so nervous that I can't function or feel sick. I have a lot of nervous energy for about 2 hours prior to performing, and that ebbs and flows until I go on, at which stage all the nerves evaporate.

At the point I'm walking up the San Fran stairs though, I'm feeling it. The place is fairly empty when I get inside and I see Jerome right away who shows me how to get backstage. I'm the first performer there. I mill around or a bit, waiting for the others to turn up. Hilaire shows up with the running order and makes a joke about another performer enjoying a quick spliff outside... At least, I think it was a joke. I look at the running order and see I'm the last act of the first half. That's a good spot I reckon, probably my favourite, the crowd is warmed up and you can unwind in the second half. Gradually people show up, except Roni. Word is that Roni couldn't make the night and swapped to the other semi final and got through. The others that made it through were Holly Gooch, Hadley Donaldson and Ben Stokes.

Justine Smith was the MC and spent quite a bit of time talking to us backstage, she was nice enough, pretty similar to her stage persona- no bullshit, quite vulgar and a definite air of performance about her. At one point I referred to her as a 'Comedienne' as in the female descriptor of comedian... And promptly got my head bitten off for it. It was all in a very friendly way though.

Backstage with me are Rick and Josh from my heat, Jennifer O'Sullivan, Kent also from my heat, Ben Caldwell (also known as Tito), Tom Reed and Shaun Piercy. In honesty, there were people there I thought I could do better than, and people there I thought I would be hard pressed to squeeze by. 2 I had never seen do a set before.

We get underway and it's a total blur, about 2 mins into Justines intro, a dude brings back a load of bottled water and red bulls for us... I couldn't believe it! Free things! So far as I was concerned this was the big leagues now... They'd probably be bringing in the brick of cocaine and half a dozen hookers soon. I was petty amped for performing as you might imagine so all I really remember is chatting with Rick nervously, and Kent once again getting his shirt off and seeming extremely confident. The one other point of note is that Josh Franklin got good laughs but finished up his set weirdly early, before departing the stage he mentioned he had a joke about Snake Skin trousers... He then proceeded to walk off and Steve Wrigley demanded to hear the joke and whipped the crowd up into a frenzy. Josh then came straight back out to do another 2 minutes. Finally I am up, I shake off the nerves and deliver my set. It's so hard to judge how you've done in the heat of the moment. I know I got some laughs, I know that the last joke I ended on went very well, and I could hear Steve Wrigley laughing really loudly from somewhere in the darkness. Justine shakes my hand and I head backstage to guzzle my free water and run over it in my head.

It's the interval and I can hear people out on the floor moving around, I'm the only person back in the green room. So far as I'm feeling now, I'm gone, I've not done enough and I didn't have an amazing set. I start texting people that have come to watch me,
"I'm gone, didn't go great"
"Wasn't my best effort, hope I did ok"
Again I'm getting pretty negative on myself. It wasn't until I watch the video back the day after and realise I did pretty well, got laughs the entire way through.

From this point on I'm trying to rank people. I reckon Josh is through, Rick went ok but I thought he may miss out. Shaun had a good set, I enjoyed it and figured he'd go through. Ben (Tito) was solid, he had ups and downs in his set and I couldn't tell if he'd go through or not. Kent got good laughs again, he was through I was sure, Tom Reed had gone in the first half and I didn't know how he'd gone, Jennifer O'Sullivan was talking backstage about how she had no prepared material... But I caught her rehearsing something in the mirror.. I'm onto you Jen! She also casually mentioned shed known a couple of the judges for years. I didn't really know how to take that, I guess if I'm honest I felt a bit intimidated. She closed the night and had a couple of mind blanks, but didn't have a bad set by anyone's definition.
As the judges tallied up, I went and told Josh he was a sure thing and congratulated him... Which was followed by my rather self indulgent concession speech.

Steve Wrigley took the stage and announced "in no particular order" the performers who had made it to the final. Josh Franklin.. No surprises there, Rick Threlfo.. Pretty sure Rick got through on the strength of his material as it wasn't his best night performance wise. Adam Wright... What.. Wait, WHAT?! I'd made it to the final! Cue a huge cheer and shriek from the table of people there for me. And lastly, Kent Lambert, not surprisingly after a good set.

It's a weird sensation again as coupled with the buzz and euphoria of making it through, there are people sitting around feeling gutted. Poor Ben Caldwell looked distraught, shattered as he held a beer and looked ahead clearly feeling like shit. Tom Reed was disappointed obviously but magnanimous in defeat. A few handshakes amongst the acts and I'm stood talking to Josh Franklin when Steve Wrigley pops backstage to have a word. He shakes my hand and dishes out some pretty high praise to me, telling me I was his favourite act of the night and that he was very impressed. I'm not trying to sound like an arrogant twat, but it was a huge deal for me. Here is a well known NZ comedian, regularly on TV and he's singling me out for praise. I felt pretty pleased with myself as I made my way out to see the people that had come to support me. A few random people came up to me with congratulations and nice comments. I was on cloud 9 and ran into Steve W again on the way out who wished me luck and said I was ready to come up to Auckland. He also told me to remove the mic stand from in front of me, my first bit of advice and I was oh so keen to take it.

It's a strange feeling competing in your adult life, I don't quite know how to describe it but, if you fail, that's it, there's no second chances and it takes a while to feel better. I had been one of the lucky ones tonight but had already started thinking about the final in two weeks time. I didn't know it at the time but I was about to make an absolutely awful decision.

Next Blog topic - the Final.

The Raw Comedy Quest 2012 - The heat

Right after my debut set, i had booked in again for another raw meat Monday. Whilst emailing off about it, Hilaire, the lady who coordinates the raw meat nights had told me about a competition coming up, the 2012 Raw Meat comedy quest. The comp was open to anyone that wasn't an amateur. Hilaire suggested I talk to Jerome Chandrahasen (former national comedy quest winner and welly comedy scene big wheel) and enter. Remember at this point I had just the one set behind me that went great so my confidence was high. I contacted Jerome and signed up for the very last heat. I had already entered by the time I had that shocker if you've been reading past blogs.

The structure of the comp is like so, 4 heats in Wellington featuring 8-10 performers a night, each night 4 get picked to go to compete in two semi finals of 8 each, then 4 from each semi feature in the wellington final. The top 2 from that go to Auckland for a shot at the national title. 

The idea is, everyone gets 6 mins to do their set, which is judged by a panel of pro comics. This was a big step for me and I had no idea about the caliber of acts. I also thought it was probably time to throw away the secrecy and try drum up support, I was going to need it!

 Fast-forward a few weeks and arrive just after my second raw meat night. My confidence had taken a bit of a beating with what happened there and I gave brief consideration to pulling out of the comp. That nagging desire to test myself kept me from doing that; I wanted to find out where I was amongst all the other amateurs out there. I also kept remembering how well my first time had gone and I did believe my stuff was funny.

I wrote my competition set 2 days before the big night; it wasn't that tough because I just pulled together the best of the 2 sets I'd done. I also wrote a completely new intro that I thought was pretty good, the hardest part was wrapping it up into a 6 min package. When I timed it at home it was all over the place, came in at 5:30 when I recorded it, 6:30 saying it out loud and timing and 7:20 on my last practice. I cut a couple of non-essential bits out but the truth is I had no idea how long it would be. I posted it on Facebook and told people at work. 2 guys from work were going to come, Kim was in and so was James. The night rolled round and I discovered my pre gig ritual. I asked James to come have a drink with me beforehand, we met at the southern cross. For me, just meeting up with my best mate, having a chat about other stuff, and a couple of beers to take the edge off, is the perfect way to prepare. I might have a quick look at my set notes before I go up, but my philosophy is a bit like my exam prep was in high school, quick revise but fuck, if I don't know it by now, I never will! 

So after my pre gig drink with James, we set off to the fringe bar and James kills a bit more time as I have to be there at half 7 for the 8pm start. I'm a bit more nervous this time; something's riding on this set now and a few more people I know will be there. I arrive at the fringe and head to the green room area straight away to see when I'm on, second to last act of the first half, a good spot I reckon. There's 3 before me and one after, plus the MC for the night is James Nokise, a pro. I played a season of football with James last year so that small bit of familiarity helps ease the anxiety a bit.

Gradually the other acts start congregating in the green room. Tonight's acts are: Myself, Thom Adams, a guy just down as "Matt", A lady called Jac, Aidan Weekes, Josh Franklin, Roni Saul Kent Lambert and a bloke called Terry. This is a bit closer to the atmosphere I've been expecting for a while, a few of the guys are quite Boisterous, Thom and Kent are having a discussion about animal dicks and trying to one up each other in the humor stakes, the guy Matt is organising his guitar (musical act) and Aidan and Josh are pretty quiet. That’s explained when I learn it's both of their first ever times trying stand up comedy. Everyone backstage agrees that's ballsy and a couple of people that have done this for a while give them a few words of encouragement. The guitar guy then approaches Jerome and asks if he can pick which semi final he'll be in as he's busy one of the nights... Jerome looks a bit confused but says yeah sure.. I was thinking, Wow, this guy must be awesome if he's taking the semis as a foregone conclusion. Kent is probably the loudest of the group and seems really really at ease, he and Thom seem the more experienced in the room. Josh, Aidan and I have a bit of a chat being all fairly new, the others are very much keeping to themselves. Jac pops in and out and I can barely remember seeing Roni at all. James comes to tell us it's a pretty big crowd in. I'm relieved, it feels more comfortable with a big crowd. Thom is opening the show and seems totally unphased by this. It's not long now. 

The show gets underway about 10 mins late and there's a good energy coming off the crowd of about 80-90 people. James as the MC takes the stage and right from the get go he is destroying it. He does about 10 mins to warm up the crowd but he would've only needed one, they're loving him! Good I think, the more receptive they are the better. Thom is introduced and we are into the competition proper. His set is a slow starter, He gets a few laughs and I was quite surprised that his routine wasn't just full of dick jokes like his pre gig banter. The crowd quite like parts of his set but just looking at my watch, it appears he's gone way over the 6 mins we all have allocated. That counts against you in the comp we have all been told. If you go too long you can be disqualified. The hi-tech system they use is a flashlight from the sound desk at 5:30 and another at 6mins that stays on. Thom finishes up at about 7 mins 30 and heads backstage, I got the vibe from him that he wasn't that pleased with how he had gone but considering he was first up he did OK. Jac is the next performer; she is an older butch looking woman with close cropped grey hair. It did not go well for her, her material was predominantly about her sexuality and it was quite graphic and intense. She got the odd giggle, but the overwhelming response was deathly silence. There were a few faces being pulled backstage too. I think I saw Roni looking absolutely horrified at one point. Jac finished up to a golfers clap and headed... Out the door. Second time I'd seen that now, horrible set and out the door, why wait around feeling bad I suppose. James did a great job of warming the crowd right back up before Aidan made his debut, I was getting ready for my set and only briefly saw his stuff, he did pretty well for a first time, not terrible, not great. James then introduced me and I once again completed my 'walk on, shake hands, remove mic and nerves disappear' routine.

I could tell early on it was going to be a good set, I got great laughs right through, a tiny bit of banter with a guy in the crowd and I was very happy with how it flowed. Some of the jokes got even better responses than I thought and some of the ones I thought were killer just got a good giggle. It felt like I raced through my set and I didn't see the light. I finished to good applause and headed backstage relieved. A few others congratulated me, Kent shook my hand, I think he was expecting me to be less confident given my inexperience. 

Guitar Matt was up last for the first half. He did two songs, almost no spoken intros. The songs were really clever, well written and he gave a good performance.. The only thing was, no one laughed. I didn't hear a single laugh his entire set. Undoubtedly a talented guy but for a few reasons he didn't hit with the crowd. The first half closed up and the lights came up. 

The people that had come to support me came up to me for a chat, Jim and Brendan from work had been drinking a few beers.. Jim more so, he told me I was in front at this stage and Brendan agreed. I knew I had done well and was feeling like as it stood, my set had the best reaction. Kim came up to me and said I'd done well, James said the same. I was feeling really good and could relax and watch the second half. A couple of people from the crowd said some more nice things to me and with that the second half got under way.

James did another 10 hilarious minutes, the gulf in class between all us amateurs and him was obvious. He talked to the crowd and got people involved a lot, they loved it and he was enjoying himself. It was time for the second debutant Josh Franklin. Josh got a very good reaction from his set, the thing that struck me was this guy was doing this for the first ever time and his delivery and timing were just spot on. Very few of his jokes went flat and as he finished up to great applause I thought yep, he's through to the semi's too. Kent Lambert went after and he got big laughs too. His stage persona was pretty different to the bloke backstage, again good timing, good delivery and a hit with the crowd. I was getting worried now, if I was through and Josh and Kent were too, that left one spot and we had two acts left. Roni Saul was on next and in my opinion she got the best reaction of the night, she was supremely confident and with her thick Scottish accent the crowd lapped it up. Big laughs the way through and she must have walked off knowing she had done well. Now I was really worried, that was 4 through, including me in my own mind and one to go. The judges could have seen it different too, Thom the opener could go through for all I knew, he had the tough task of being first and while it wasn't a huge reaction for him, he in no way bombed. 

Terry was up last, an older guy. He got laughs too, his set was quiet in parts but got laughs at the punch lines, it was hard to tell how the judges would receive him. This was going to be tough now. They were only moments away from announcing the 4 that had made the semis. 

All the acts were at the back of the room together, minus Jac the one that left after bombing. You could feel there were nerves in the air. Guitar Matt and Thom were sitting on bar stools, Matt was just staring at the bench he was leaning on. My goal had been to get out of my heat and after feeling really confident early on, I now had no idea which way it would go. James the MC was handed a piece of paper and announced the names in no particular order, Roni Saul.... Huge applause and a few woops, she was stood next to me and looked pleased. Josh Franklin, more applause, the debutant through to the semis and deservedly so. I thought at this point that I was a gonner, every second that passed I thought more and more that I would miss out. Adam Wright.. My name was called! Good applause and Kim shrieking for me! And lastly, Zack Galifinakas... That was Kent who looked like him and had joked about it in his set. So that was it, the four of us through. We all shook hands and smiles all round, Matt was still staring at the bench and Thom was in contemplative silence. I felt bad for them, they wanted to do well and were clearly disappointed. 

The lights came up and the congratulations began. People came up to me and said well done, my little support crew were really pleased and quite a few people from the crowd came to shake my hand and say they'd enjoyed my set. What a buzz! A couple of girls said I was their favourite as they left, that was a great feeling. It's the best feeling being told by people who don’t know you from a bar of soap that you've done well and they enjoyed what you did. It's my biggest thrill still and I can't speak for the others but I bet they love it too.

For anyone reading that enjoys a standup at a local level, make sure you tell tem. It means heaps and gives you a big boost.

So what a night, Id accomplished my goal of getting out the heat and was confident I had a good set I could take to the semi’s with minor tweaks. A couple of people from the wellington comedy scene came and shook my hand, Ben Stokes said he really enjoyed it. Rick was there too and he approached me at the end to get my contact details about doing a set at another comedy night in the near future.

My next blog is the semi final at the San Fran Bath House.

Thanks for reading

*If I got any of the order wrong, sorry, it was a while ago now!

Second Time Up, First time Bombing

Buoyed on by the success of my debut, I had booked in for 2 more sets. One was the 2012 Raw Comedy Quest which I’ll write about in the next blog, the other was a Raw Meat Monday in the later part of March. That was some way out from last set, about 6 weeks. I learned that the Monday nights fill up fast and you had to be quick if you wanted to get in again. They also have a free spot every Monday that goes to the first person to ask for it on the night at the venue. So after last time keeping it a secret, I decided that I’d just let James my best friend know, and my girlfriend Kim.

It’s Probably worth addressing here why I struggle with the thought of inviting friends to watch me. For me, the thought of some good friends sat in the audience is a hard one to get past, I’m afraid they’ll not enjoy it and think I wasn’t very good. I’m not wanting to be loved and lauded by all, but if I were to have a poor set, I hate the idea of losing face in front of a good friend or loved one. The second part to it is, I know these people and I know their sense of humour, and I know some of my stuff they won’t enjoy as much, it sounds silly but going up there and thinking of a friend sat in the crowd hearing stuff not to their tastes doesn’t appeal. I’ve since gotten over that to a degree but it does play on my mind.

So I get to the Fringe bar for this second set and see Rick from last week there, have a quick word and set off to see the run list and where Ill be performing. Oh goody, I’m up first. The good news is, the MC for the night is Gabriel Page, if you haven’t seen him before, he’s a musical comedian that sings twisted love songs. Now I’m no fan of musical comedy, most of the time I think its really clever but the actual material is weak. I’ve seen Gabe perform a few times including his 2011 festival show and can safely say his stuff was really funny as well as being clever so I was pretty pleased to have him MC’ing. About 15 mins to go and hardly anyone has shown up, it’s cold, windy and drizzly outside so it looks like it’s going to be a pretty poor crowd in. James shows up and has a chat to me, we make a few jokes about the abysmal looking turnout, I think it must have been pretty obvious to him though that I felt a bit uncomfortable and embarrassed by the low numbers. Kim came in not long after and said hi. At this stage I’m looking round and notice that, between the performers, the bar staff, the sound guys and the night organisers, we outnumber the actual punters. I’m feeling really disappointed by this, feels a bit ridiculous having Kim and James here when it looks to be a washout. Compounding my worry is the fact I’ve ditched my previous set to try all new stuff and I haven’t had any experience working a small crowd. It’s getting to the point where I’m feeling really apprehensive about the whole thing. James and Kim take a seat (no trouble securing a spot..) and I sit with them as Gabe takes the stage.

It might sound silly but I was really impressed with the way Gabe just got on with it, wasn’t affected by the numbers at all, he owned the stage. He had the swagger of an experienced comic that had done this all before for crowds of all sizes. Gabes opening lasted a while and I was silently going over my set in my head. He finished up to good applause, sounding like there were more people there than there was in reality.

I took to the stage when introduced, and once again my nerves disappeared instantly. I began my set and knew from the start that I wasn’t in for a repeat of my prior effort. I could hear everything happening in that place, the cash register opening, some bell going off in the distance, it was getting to me.  The other thing I could hear was Kim's laugh, not because she was being particularly loud but because there were that few people laughing that I could pick hers out, that really put me off, again not her fault but still. I was going along getting the odd good laugh, some chuckles but plenty of silence too. This was my first experience with something that still throws me a bit, waiting for a laugh and getting nothing. The other thing I noticed was a guy in the front row, leaning back on his chair, tapping the table and clearly not enjoying it. I was racing through my set, desperate to finish and that’s when I really messed up, I blanked. I was doing a joke about people that go off camping terribly prepared and get into trouble, the set up went fine, but when I got to the punch line I just couldn’t remember the next word... I stumbled over the last thing I'd said over and over again, sounding like a broken record.. "To avoid.. To avoid... To avoid..."

A voice piped up from the front row, it was a heckle! Josh Samuels (also on the bill that night) finished my sentence for me.. "Laughing" he said, the sentence obviously becoming "to avoid laughing". Well, no one needed any extra help avoiding laughing now. My first thought was "what a knob heckling me!"  but on reflection it was a blessing. He wasn't being mean spirited and by saying something he allowed me to stop rambling and actually move on. I didn’t "school" him like you see good comics do, but it really saved me from myself. I finished up to smattered applause and almost ran off stage, Usain Bolt wouldn't have beaten me back to my seat.

I took a seat with James and Kim but I knew it was poor, it was exactly the thing I feared most with inviting them. I felt pretty gutted that they had come out to see me, after my triumphant tales from last time, and that was what they saw. Gabe was doing another couple of songs but near the start of the second one he blanked, I was pretty surprised. He just forgot how his song went, but this was a lesson on how to blank for me, he admitted it, laughed it off, said "Fuck it!" And moved on. I pocketed that for when it next happened to me.  I can't remember who was up next, I was still digesting my own horror show. I certainly remember the following performer though.

She was a young girl about 19 or 20 and it was her first ever time up. I was only new myself so I could sympathise with her as she was plainly nervous. What followed however was an absolute howler of a performance.   

I've seen people die before but this was something else. I was bad, but this was a train wreck. She was just warbling on and on, like a truck that had a tire blow out and was now careening all over the road out of control, unable to stop. Joke after joke fell totally flat, not even a pity laugh. It was this high pitched rambling punctuated with big arm movements against a backdrop of silence. I felt for her but anyone there would tell you that there was a palpable sense of relief in the air when the set mercifully drew to a close. If it’s possible to be mauled by silence, we had all just witnessed it. She knew how awful it had gone and headed straight for the exit, wooshka! Off the stage and out the door! Poor girl, I'm not sure stand up was for her but it takes guts to get up there and she definitely deserves credit for getting up there.

Gabe bought some semblance of normality back to proceedings and bought on ... The guy who was looking bored in the front row! I couldn't believe it! Turned out he was Ben Stokes, an English guy that had been doing comedy for a little while. I'll be honest, I hoped he wasn't going to be funny.. Disappointingly for me he was quite good! I liked his material and while a few bits fell flat for him, you could tell he was a funny guy.

Rick was up next, not his greatest set but overall I thought he was again the best on the night. I was kind of relieved it was tough going for all, that might sound cruel, but I didn't want to be the one guy that blew it on an otherwise glittering night of stars.

Josh Samuels set was entertaining to say the least, he started well and had all the presence you'd expect from an experienced performer, he commanded the stage, played off the tiny audience like a pro and looked for all money like he was going to have a great set... Unfortunately for Josh, about halfway through, he found one of his jokes hilarious. He fell into hysterics quickly, then literally collapsed in a fit of laughter before eventually being forcefully removed from the stage to head to the green room to compose himself. It was hilariously entertaining but probably not what he'd envisaged for his set.

The nights closing act was Hadley Donaldson, I'd never seen Hadley but there was a good buzz around about him. The 10-minute spot at the end is for the more experienced comedians, Hadley had been on the scene for just under a year and I was looking forward to seeing him.

He blanked early on and never really recovered, he was doing it tough and allowed his internal monologue to vocalise, at one point saying "I'm just rambling on...". It was a poor set but I actually liked his ideas and was sure he'd be great on another night.

The evening came to a close, it had been a really tough night for all. At one point or another, every single act had lost train of thought and messed up a bit, some worse than others. On a personal note I was gutted, embarrassed that I'd gone poorly while my best friend and my girlfriend looked on. James told me it wasn't as bad as I thought but I could tell he was sugar coating it, in the coming days he was more honest which I appreciated, a true friend is going to be straight with you.

On the way out Hadley stopped me and said he liked my set, which was nice of him, I returned the compliment but he brushed it off. I knew how he felt, neither of us wanted a compliment on something we weren't proud of. The lesson I took out of the evening was that you're going to have tiny crowds sometimes and you've just got to deal with it. I also learned there's a way to get past a blank, there's probably not much point trying to save a joke you've messed up so just move on.

I headed home with Kim, not really saying much. I felt like I'd let her down. I was dreading the raw meat competition now. It was only in 2 weeks time too.  And that's what I'll blog about next time

Thanks for reading 

    

My first go at stand up

So it's Jan 30th 2012 and I'm fulfilling a promise I made to myself, and also satisfying a long held curiosity. Giving stand up comedy a go before I was 30. Man alive I was nervous, I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, not my girlfriend, not my best friend, no one. I decided it was going to be much easier doing this in secret, that way if I sucked, at least I'd probably never see the audience again. I had to be there at 7.30 for the 8pm start and I had about 30 mins to kill before that as I was in town from 7ish. I went and sat by myself going over my notes, I couldn't concentrate though, nothing was going in. I gave serious thought to just bolting, being a no show. I figured I could just knock it on the head here and now and no one would know. I really did consider that as the minutes ebbed away, the only thing that stopped me was the thought that if I changed my mind in a week or so, my name would be mud and I may not be able to get another slot. Having thought about that for a good 10 minutes or so, I set off for the venue. I arrived just prior to 7.30 and went on in, ordered a beer at the bar and blurted out it was my first time 'up' to the staff. We had a bit of banter about it and they were fairly encouraging, they told me all the other comics were out front drinking, but I didn't know any of them so I just went "back stage" and once again poured over my set notes. I was still nervous being there but I'd say about half as nervous as I was before, now that I was there and checked in, I had to go through with it so my nerves started to ease. I was sat alone for a while, again just reading over the same stuff but I knew the set pretty well, I just needed something to do.
Eventually the other performers started congregating around the green room, introducing themselves and all learning it was my first time. I looked at the run list and I was first up after the half time break, I thought that was a pretty good spot, I just didn't want to be first. I met that evenings MC, Natalie Britten and she was really great to talk to, I'd seen a fair few people at Raw Meat before but I didn't know what they'd be like off stage. My biggest concern was that they'd all be dicks.. that sounds pretty harsh but I had this image of everyone trying to one up each other with another funny comment, getting louder and louder. I was pleasantly surprised that hardly anyone was like that, it was a real relief. Natalie was really friendly, just talked to me about what she was up to, both now and in the wider comedy sense. I also met Nathan Winter backstage and he was a pretty cool guy too, I had assumed that because of his eccentric on stage outfits that he would be loud, cocky and think he was the business. Nothing could be further from the truth, he was chilled out, down to earth and another person great to just have a chat to. I had a quick chat to Rick Threlfo who was a nice guy too, I couldn't believe how relaxed and friendly most of these people were! Rick asked me if I had any friends here to support me and when I told him no, I remember him saying "what a pro" and that friends will get sick of coming anyway. I felt encouraged by that, I had no idea if they all had a little crew of pals they dragged from gig to gig or not. I cant remember many others that were on with me that first night but I can honestly say that overall there was just a normal bunch of people all with some nervous energy, ready to go up and be funny. One of the bar staff came backstage and commented that there was a good crowd in tonight, I felt relieved at that. Id much rather have a large crowd where everyone blends into anonymity than to be able to clearly make out 10 or 15 people.

At about 5 mins past 8 I was thinking 'come onnn just get it on the go already!' I could feel some nerves starting to return and was wondering if we were ever going to get underway. Pretty much right after that, they announced they were getting underway.. that's right, when I have a silent complaint about a punctual start.. people LISTEN.

I remember waiting backstage, staring blankly for the hundredth time at my notes, just waiting my turn. Natalie would chat briefly to all of us waiting, just a few quiet words here and there, I found that eased the tension. The first half ended, a few people got next to no laughs, others did much better but I cant honestly remember the detail. Natalie bought the half to a close and I was up after the break, when we resumed, Natalie did a couple of minutes of her own stuff and then introduced me, told everyone I was brand new.. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. Was it better for everyone to know I was doing this for the first time or see how it went as just another act? I think it was probably better, maybe they'd be more forgiving. So that was it, up I went, my mind was racing through all of my 'worst case scenarios'.. stupid things I shouldn't have been worried about.. I worried that I'd trip over as I took the stage.. despite the elevation being about 20 centimeters.. I worried that I wouldn't be able to unclasp the microphone, that I might look like a twat trying to wrestle it from its vice-like holder. What if the Mic was at a totally wrong height and I couldn't adjust the mic stand properly? Id look like an idiot, silently and frantically turning the knob and sliding the telescopic stand bit up and down like an utter prick. My biggest fear though, and the most grounded, was that I would freeze up, forget my stuff and have to fish round for my notes. All this raced through my mind over and over again in the 5 second walk to the stage. I shook Natalie's hand.. (something I've oddly kept doing.. shaking hands when I go on..)

I eyed up my first challenge, the microphone. It was pretty much at a decent height so I weighed up leaving it but thought no, fuck it! I'll remove it from the stand! What a brave move... it went off seamlessly, and from that point on, my nerves totally disappeared. I felt at ease. I delivered my set minus a very small bit I forgot and got a great reaction from the audience. I remember almost every joke hit, no dead air, and before I knew it, I finished up on a decent laugh and got a great round of applause from the audience. What a relief! I was spent, I walked backstage and as I came off a couple of people high fived me, Rick was one and he told me I killed it, a couple of others echoed his words and I felt on top of the world. I was in a bit of a stupor, feeling drained, all that tension had melted away and I was just absorbing the moment. Natalie went back up, reminded them all it was my first time and made a joke referring to my set. I felt so confident that I yelled out something that I thought was amusing.. nobody laughed so I thought I'll not be doing that again. Brad Zimmerman who had been working the sound desk was up next, just a spur of the moment thing, he'd decided to do a quick set. First up he got another round of applause for me and said he couldn't believe it was my first time, I just stood there grinning like an idiot this time. He referred to me as a "confident piece of shit", I took it as a compliment as it was intended. It felt great to get all this positive reinforcement from people, it was only really then that I could sit back and enjoy the rest of the acts. Brad was really funny, he finished up and came to say hello and well done. The other acts finished up, Rick was really good and I thought out of everyone he was the closest in style to me. I thought he had the best set of the night and returned his compliment to me of "you killed it". Hilaire who helps organise the raw meat nights came over and congratulated me and that was it. My first stand up set done.

My friends at work had been winding me up earlier in the day, asking if I was ever going to do any standup, ribbing me about it and I guess I must have acted a bit weird as I knew I was going up that very night. To prove I'd been up there, about 10 mins before I went on I took a picture from backstage and sent it to my colleague Jim saying I was about to go up. When I was heading home I checked my messages. "Sneaky prick!" he'd written. Suppose I was a sneaky prick but I was on cloud 9. I'm not really a goal setting person but this was something I was really proud to have achieved, it had gone great too which made me even more pleased.

A few years ago a girl at work said to me "why are you not doing stand up comedy?!" as a few of us were joking round in the lunch room. At the time I was just trying to be Mr Funny, and thought to myself 'one day..maybe'. Well, I am now, and all it took was a bit of courage.
When i got home i spilled the beans to my girlfriend, she was stunned but said she was proud of me, it meant a lot that she understood why i wanted to do it in secret. The next day I told all my friends and got lots more support from them, plenty asking when I was next up, could they come, did I video it etc etc. I felt lucky to have some cool friends and colleagues that were into what I was doing.

To anyone wanting to give it a go, I'd fully encourage you to try it, I was spurred on by the success of my friend Shaun getting into standup over a year and a half ago, and his encouragement along with my own desire to just do it, have left me glad that I did. I'm not saying its easy, or anyone can do it, but if I'd bottled it like I considered that night, I'd have still been regretting it.

The most surprising thing to me was that all the fellow performers I met that night were cool, humble and chilled out folk. As I've since seen, not everyone is like that but the majority are.

Next blog is going to be my second effort which was a tiny crowd and a bit of a nightmare.

Thanks for reading.

Adam