My first go at stand up

So it's Jan 30th 2012 and I'm fulfilling a promise I made to myself, and also satisfying a long held curiosity. Giving stand up comedy a go before I was 30. Man alive I was nervous, I didn't tell anyone what I was doing, not my girlfriend, not my best friend, no one. I decided it was going to be much easier doing this in secret, that way if I sucked, at least I'd probably never see the audience again. I had to be there at 7.30 for the 8pm start and I had about 30 mins to kill before that as I was in town from 7ish. I went and sat by myself going over my notes, I couldn't concentrate though, nothing was going in. I gave serious thought to just bolting, being a no show. I figured I could just knock it on the head here and now and no one would know. I really did consider that as the minutes ebbed away, the only thing that stopped me was the thought that if I changed my mind in a week or so, my name would be mud and I may not be able to get another slot. Having thought about that for a good 10 minutes or so, I set off for the venue. I arrived just prior to 7.30 and went on in, ordered a beer at the bar and blurted out it was my first time 'up' to the staff. We had a bit of banter about it and they were fairly encouraging, they told me all the other comics were out front drinking, but I didn't know any of them so I just went "back stage" and once again poured over my set notes. I was still nervous being there but I'd say about half as nervous as I was before, now that I was there and checked in, I had to go through with it so my nerves started to ease. I was sat alone for a while, again just reading over the same stuff but I knew the set pretty well, I just needed something to do.
Eventually the other performers started congregating around the green room, introducing themselves and all learning it was my first time. I looked at the run list and I was first up after the half time break, I thought that was a pretty good spot, I just didn't want to be first. I met that evenings MC, Natalie Britten and she was really great to talk to, I'd seen a fair few people at Raw Meat before but I didn't know what they'd be like off stage. My biggest concern was that they'd all be dicks.. that sounds pretty harsh but I had this image of everyone trying to one up each other with another funny comment, getting louder and louder. I was pleasantly surprised that hardly anyone was like that, it was a real relief. Natalie was really friendly, just talked to me about what she was up to, both now and in the wider comedy sense. I also met Nathan Winter backstage and he was a pretty cool guy too, I had assumed that because of his eccentric on stage outfits that he would be loud, cocky and think he was the business. Nothing could be further from the truth, he was chilled out, down to earth and another person great to just have a chat to. I had a quick chat to Rick Threlfo who was a nice guy too, I couldn't believe how relaxed and friendly most of these people were! Rick asked me if I had any friends here to support me and when I told him no, I remember him saying "what a pro" and that friends will get sick of coming anyway. I felt encouraged by that, I had no idea if they all had a little crew of pals they dragged from gig to gig or not. I cant remember many others that were on with me that first night but I can honestly say that overall there was just a normal bunch of people all with some nervous energy, ready to go up and be funny. One of the bar staff came backstage and commented that there was a good crowd in tonight, I felt relieved at that. Id much rather have a large crowd where everyone blends into anonymity than to be able to clearly make out 10 or 15 people.

At about 5 mins past 8 I was thinking 'come onnn just get it on the go already!' I could feel some nerves starting to return and was wondering if we were ever going to get underway. Pretty much right after that, they announced they were getting underway.. that's right, when I have a silent complaint about a punctual start.. people LISTEN.

I remember waiting backstage, staring blankly for the hundredth time at my notes, just waiting my turn. Natalie would chat briefly to all of us waiting, just a few quiet words here and there, I found that eased the tension. The first half ended, a few people got next to no laughs, others did much better but I cant honestly remember the detail. Natalie bought the half to a close and I was up after the break, when we resumed, Natalie did a couple of minutes of her own stuff and then introduced me, told everyone I was brand new.. I'm still not sure how I feel about that. Was it better for everyone to know I was doing this for the first time or see how it went as just another act? I think it was probably better, maybe they'd be more forgiving. So that was it, up I went, my mind was racing through all of my 'worst case scenarios'.. stupid things I shouldn't have been worried about.. I worried that I'd trip over as I took the stage.. despite the elevation being about 20 centimeters.. I worried that I wouldn't be able to unclasp the microphone, that I might look like a twat trying to wrestle it from its vice-like holder. What if the Mic was at a totally wrong height and I couldn't adjust the mic stand properly? Id look like an idiot, silently and frantically turning the knob and sliding the telescopic stand bit up and down like an utter prick. My biggest fear though, and the most grounded, was that I would freeze up, forget my stuff and have to fish round for my notes. All this raced through my mind over and over again in the 5 second walk to the stage. I shook Natalie's hand.. (something I've oddly kept doing.. shaking hands when I go on..)

I eyed up my first challenge, the microphone. It was pretty much at a decent height so I weighed up leaving it but thought no, fuck it! I'll remove it from the stand! What a brave move... it went off seamlessly, and from that point on, my nerves totally disappeared. I felt at ease. I delivered my set minus a very small bit I forgot and got a great reaction from the audience. I remember almost every joke hit, no dead air, and before I knew it, I finished up on a decent laugh and got a great round of applause from the audience. What a relief! I was spent, I walked backstage and as I came off a couple of people high fived me, Rick was one and he told me I killed it, a couple of others echoed his words and I felt on top of the world. I was in a bit of a stupor, feeling drained, all that tension had melted away and I was just absorbing the moment. Natalie went back up, reminded them all it was my first time and made a joke referring to my set. I felt so confident that I yelled out something that I thought was amusing.. nobody laughed so I thought I'll not be doing that again. Brad Zimmerman who had been working the sound desk was up next, just a spur of the moment thing, he'd decided to do a quick set. First up he got another round of applause for me and said he couldn't believe it was my first time, I just stood there grinning like an idiot this time. He referred to me as a "confident piece of shit", I took it as a compliment as it was intended. It felt great to get all this positive reinforcement from people, it was only really then that I could sit back and enjoy the rest of the acts. Brad was really funny, he finished up and came to say hello and well done. The other acts finished up, Rick was really good and I thought out of everyone he was the closest in style to me. I thought he had the best set of the night and returned his compliment to me of "you killed it". Hilaire who helps organise the raw meat nights came over and congratulated me and that was it. My first stand up set done.

My friends at work had been winding me up earlier in the day, asking if I was ever going to do any standup, ribbing me about it and I guess I must have acted a bit weird as I knew I was going up that very night. To prove I'd been up there, about 10 mins before I went on I took a picture from backstage and sent it to my colleague Jim saying I was about to go up. When I was heading home I checked my messages. "Sneaky prick!" he'd written. Suppose I was a sneaky prick but I was on cloud 9. I'm not really a goal setting person but this was something I was really proud to have achieved, it had gone great too which made me even more pleased.

A few years ago a girl at work said to me "why are you not doing stand up comedy?!" as a few of us were joking round in the lunch room. At the time I was just trying to be Mr Funny, and thought to myself 'one day..maybe'. Well, I am now, and all it took was a bit of courage.
When i got home i spilled the beans to my girlfriend, she was stunned but said she was proud of me, it meant a lot that she understood why i wanted to do it in secret. The next day I told all my friends and got lots more support from them, plenty asking when I was next up, could they come, did I video it etc etc. I felt lucky to have some cool friends and colleagues that were into what I was doing.

To anyone wanting to give it a go, I'd fully encourage you to try it, I was spurred on by the success of my friend Shaun getting into standup over a year and a half ago, and his encouragement along with my own desire to just do it, have left me glad that I did. I'm not saying its easy, or anyone can do it, but if I'd bottled it like I considered that night, I'd have still been regretting it.

The most surprising thing to me was that all the fellow performers I met that night were cool, humble and chilled out folk. As I've since seen, not everyone is like that but the majority are.

Next blog is going to be my second effort which was a tiny crowd and a bit of a nightmare.

Thanks for reading.

Adam